Falling Leaves

Now that September has begun, I consider it the beginning of a new year. That is probably because I had been a teacher for so long, and a student before that. I see students walking past my house in the morning, on the way to school. The air seems crisp with expectation. It is my favorite time of the year.

I look back on this first year of my retirement and realize that it was a time of rest and regathering for me. I have found this to be both refreshing and introspective. It has provided time for me to assess my life. I have found it to be a good life. Teaching brought me great satisfaction and a feeling that I had done some good in the lives of others. I just sent out a letter to students who have graduated from high school and were students of mine. It is a kind of tradition I started in 1998 when the first graduates of the high school where I taught left to go on to careers and college. Each August I send a letter of encouragement, telling them to keep following their dreams, no matter how long it may take to attain them.

Now I start a new year for myself, too. I want it to be a year of new things. I want to pursue my love of writing and art. I realize I need to follow the advice I so freely give my daughter: set aside time each day which is solely devoted to that pursuit. Now my time of rest is over. It is time I pursue my dreams, too.

This is also a symbolic time of falling leaves. It is not the end of things, but rather the beginning of things. Leaves fall from the tree in order to make way for new growth to come. This is true for humans as well. There is no end. Only new beginnings. The Creator uses each of us, no matter how small it may seem, as part of His grand scheme of things. We often cannot see this for ourselves. That is where faith comes into the picture. Nothing of the Creator is negative. Even our sometimes seeming failures have a reason for being. If nothing else, failings keep us humble and pliable. We only need to be available to be of use to the Creator. Humans tend to be impatient. Remember a thousand years is but a day in the grand scheme of things.

Falling leaves do not mean the end of a cycle. There are no endings. Only beginnings. If we can keep that in mind, we will be more patient with ourselves and with others. Slow down. Let things happen. Believe good comes from everything. Most importantly, to God give the glory.

At this time in my life, I recognize the changes in my body. I rise more slowly in the morning, tire easily, seek sleep more often. But it is not a sad time for me. I realize that these changes afford me the opportunity to take time for myself, appreciate the little things I used to not notice because of a too-busy life style, and see my frailties as badge of my years. There is too much about my life that is good to prevent me from feeling sorry for myself. My only regret is what I could have done that I did not do for others.