Grandparents' Day

Today is National Grandparent's Day. We just got back from going out to dinner with our neighbor two houses down and her son who is eleven. We met last summer when we had a garage sale which they attended. Since then, Jordan, the little boy, has adopted us as his grandparents.

We have a grandson, Connor, who is a year older than Jordan. But Connor lives in Tennessee and we rarely spend time with him, usually a week at Christmas or Easter and a week or two in the summer when he is with his mom. Since their divorce, Connor's father allows us little or no communication with Connor for reasons beyond our comprehension. He had remarried and separated himself from us even though we had never spoken ill of him.

Jordan has two sets of grandparents but is not close with any of them. That is why he adopted us. He comes over frequently to eat candy, joke around with us, sometimes has me help him with homework, but most importantly to play Game Boy and Play Station II with my husband. We enjoy him tremendously. It makes the pain of seeing so little of our only grandchild less difficult.

There have been efforts in recent years to get the courts to intercede with divorced parents who deny visiting rights to grandparents. Recently the Supreme Court decision was made that grandparents do not have specific rights to visitation when one of the parents is not in agreement. There are efforts again being made to have the courts reconsider that decision. I perfectly understand if the grandparents are drug addicts or living a life style that would be harmful physically or emotionally to the grandchild. But if that is not the case, why should grandparents be denied seeing their grandchildren, spending reasonable periods of time with them?

It is a sad commentary on today's society that such things are happening. Grand parents serve an important function. They are a historical resource for family background. They are often a stabilizing influence in a chaotic world. They are a cushion of love and support for children going through difficult times. They are a source of comfort to parents as well when circumstances or situations arise in the rearing of a child and a reasonable voice of experience is needed. And just as important to the child is a realization of what grand parents need too. As one grows older, there is a greater need for interaction with the young. It is beneficial in both directions for there to be interaction between grand parents and grand children. It is my hope that this fact will be realized and the Supreme Court decision will be overturned.

In the meantime, I miss the time I could be spending with Connor. I know my husband feels just as strongly as I do. In fact, it angers him to be denied time with our only grandson without being given a reason or even an opportunity to talk about the situation with Connor's father. It feels as though a great chunk of our life has been surgically removed without cause. We hope with the passing of time that Connor's father will allow him to come spend time with us once he is older. That would make us very happy.