Poetry of Love

We are old friends now as the sun nears its setting
Looking back on days long passed
Looking forward to quiet time together
Where Passion's heat no longer drives our love

Time is a friend, teaching us deeper meanings
Though our bodies move more slowly
Though our minds seek past remembering
We are still and ever, loving partners in a dance

When we were young, filled with tomorrow's dreams
Little did we know we would find such bliss
In a smile, a shared joke, a silent togetherness
All these things and more we together have discovered

Let you who are beginning your life journey together
Discover in time the truer joys of loving
That only time and shared memories bring
A golden glow in the evening of time shared with one another

Love is more than pleasures shared in moonbeam's glow
More than building a life togather
More than memories and keepsakes
It is all that life encompases in the love of a lifetime

The Strength of Love

love is the tie that binds. It is not bondage, forcing one to comply to another's wishes. It is freely given and freely accepted. It binds by holding together no matter what may come. It does not question. It does not become easily provoked. It is above all forgiving and quick to forget the arrows of doubt which may attempt to attack those bound by love.

I have a wonderful son-in-law who loves my daughter with his whole being. He has brought her contentment and a safe place. He came into her life when she most needed him. His love binds her but does not hinder her. That is what is so remarkable about him. He works tirelessly to provide an environment which nurtures her artistic and spiritual growth. He holds her most dear and I know he would defend her against any enemy, whether physical or spiritual. Sam is a man of quiet ways and gentle persuasion. But within him is the heart of a giant. Now that he is part of our family, I know Monica will have the security and support she needs to keep her safe.

Sam is the son we would have loved to have. We are so glad our daughter met him, fell in love with him, and married him. There is no greater treasure parents can have than to know their child is being kept safe and is loved. We are growing old in years and know we cannot forever guard her from adversity. Now she has her champion and side by side they will fight the adversities life brings and grow old together. That is our wish for them.

Mothers and Daughters

My daughter called this morning from Houston. She is my only child and the love of my life. It is always good to hear her voice. I hear her voice and am flooded with memories of her as a little girl with bouncing red curls and an inquisitive mind who was forever asking why.

All mothers think their daughters are remarkable. But my daughter has proven herself to be so. There has been within her a creative, free spirited being much older than her physical years and exceptionally sensitive to life around her. I sadly admit there were times I tried to stifle her outspokeness and questioning of authority. I thought she needed to curb her remarks and be more respectful of those adults she would question. I was wrong. I can see that now. Thankfully, my efforts to rein her in were unsuccessful.

Now as an adult, those qualities which I once found troubling, are the ones that make her so remarkable. Anyone who comes to know her recognizes that she is enthusiastic about life and unaffraid to tell others what she thinks. She is a crusader for the downtrodden, offering help in a tangible way rather than just spouting words of indignation. She will go out of her way to bring food to the homeless person who stands daily at a freeway entrance ramp and then engage in conversation. She sees each person as an individual, not some invisible nameless person. She feels driven to do more than what is expected of her. She is remarkably artistic but wants to use this talent as a tool to bring others closer to the Creator. She can become righteously indignant when she sees wrong being done.

I say all these things about her with much pride. My daughter has a great gift to give in a world filled with meaness and incredible cruelty. She is a shining example of all that is good and worthy in mankind. I cannot attribute all her good qualities to anything her father or I have done. She is truly a gift from God. I am most thankful that we were given the opportunity to see her become the remarkable adult she has become.

Grandparents' Day

Today is National Grandparent's Day. We just got back from going out to dinner with our neighbor two houses down and her son who is eleven. We met last summer when we had a garage sale which they attended. Since then, Jordan, the little boy, has adopted us as his grandparents.

We have a grandson, Connor, who is a year older than Jordan. But Connor lives in Tennessee and we rarely spend time with him, usually a week at Christmas or Easter and a week or two in the summer when he is with his mom. Since their divorce, Connor's father allows us little or no communication with Connor for reasons beyond our comprehension. He had remarried and separated himself from us even though we had never spoken ill of him.

Jordan has two sets of grandparents but is not close with any of them. That is why he adopted us. He comes over frequently to eat candy, joke around with us, sometimes has me help him with homework, but most importantly to play Game Boy and Play Station II with my husband. We enjoy him tremendously. It makes the pain of seeing so little of our only grandchild less difficult.

There have been efforts in recent years to get the courts to intercede with divorced parents who deny visiting rights to grandparents. Recently the Supreme Court decision was made that grandparents do not have specific rights to visitation when one of the parents is not in agreement. There are efforts again being made to have the courts reconsider that decision. I perfectly understand if the grandparents are drug addicts or living a life style that would be harmful physically or emotionally to the grandchild. But if that is not the case, why should grandparents be denied seeing their grandchildren, spending reasonable periods of time with them?

It is a sad commentary on today's society that such things are happening. Grand parents serve an important function. They are a historical resource for family background. They are often a stabilizing influence in a chaotic world. They are a cushion of love and support for children going through difficult times. They are a source of comfort to parents as well when circumstances or situations arise in the rearing of a child and a reasonable voice of experience is needed. And just as important to the child is a realization of what grand parents need too. As one grows older, there is a greater need for interaction with the young. It is beneficial in both directions for there to be interaction between grand parents and grand children. It is my hope that this fact will be realized and the Supreme Court decision will be overturned.

In the meantime, I miss the time I could be spending with Connor. I know my husband feels just as strongly as I do. In fact, it angers him to be denied time with our only grandson without being given a reason or even an opportunity to talk about the situation with Connor's father. It feels as though a great chunk of our life has been surgically removed without cause. We hope with the passing of time that Connor's father will allow him to come spend time with us once he is older. That would make us very happy.

Early Morning Contemplation

I love the early morning. The house is quiet. A cool breeze gently brushes past me from an open window. I hear the birds in the back yard chirping. It is a time of hopefulness and new beginnings. Sweetie, our cat, is snuggled up in bed with my husband, Arno. So the house is mine entirely. There are no chores calling to me. It is my favorite time of the day.

I try to push away thoughts of tomorrow...the anniversary of 9-11. The images of planes crashing into the Twin Towers and the resulting burst of explosions and flame still shake me. It is hard to believe it has been three years and yet it seems so long ago at the same time. I am also troubled that the Republican Party has chosen that particular horrific memory to be their backdrop for the re-election of President Bush. To me that should be a moment to be kept separate from politics. I will forever remember standing in the kitchen at about 6:20 in the morning, watching a few minutes of news on the television before heading off to work, and seeing the Twin Towers billowing black smoke and then a second plane crashing into the buildings. It was a moment totally incomprehensible. The hours and days following the attack were filled with shock and an intense sadness. I could not stop crying. It still brings tears to my eyes. And I realized immediately, once I knew what had happened, that the lives of Americans were forever changed.

I do find immense comfort in my early morning quiet. It is reassuring to hear the birds and the muted sound of traffic from the freeway which no longer calls me to a day of teaching. I delight in the time I now have for myself. It is a time of contemplation too. I think of my daughter, far away in Texas. I whisper a prayer for my son-in-law, who works tirelessly to provide a good life for my daughter and himself. I send love to my only grandchild, far from me in Tennessee. I give thanks to Jehovah, the Creator, for giving me life and ask Him to forgive my short comings and give me ways to praise Him through the things I do and say. I also pray for the future of all the young people who struggle day to day in this difficult world we live in.

All in all, I have a good life, for which I am thankful. I have a good husband who loves me and keeps me safe. I have a wonderful family and good friends. Life is good. There is nothing I want or need to make me feel more complete. For that I count myself most fortunate.

Walking with Faith

Faith seems to be a hot topic these days. Religious fervor has grown tremendously in conjunction with the increasing violence of our world today. It does not seem to matter in what religion's "name" people display and nurture their faith. I reallly do not think that is what is important. A relationship with the creator is what is important. So many people seem to be searching for that relationship.

Demonstrating a personal faith is essential to that relationship. When I read the Bible's account of the activities of Christ when on the earth and of the mission he gave his followers, I realize that what was being taught was the need to have faith and to show that faith through a testimony to others. That testimony is more than words. Anyone can say they have faith and that others must have faith. Anyone can say do as I say because I am a good Christian, or Muslim, or Jew, or any of a mysriad of religious groups and institutions. But what seems to be the underlying key is the WAY YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE.

Many religious people feel they must promote one particular religion as the ONE WAY to reach the creator and to please Him. But if the Bible is any key, the way in which I live my life is the real key and the most difficult requirement. Many religious people point at the belief of another who appears to be different and condemn it as not being THE WAY. But didn't Jesus say, "Judge not that you be not judged."?

To me, true testimony is the way in which I live my life on a daily basis, always remembering my own imperfections rather than dwelling on my perceived imperfections of others. How can it be positive to tear down? Should we not not instead build up? How can it be positive to deride another's belief? Should we not show love on a personal one-on-one level in which we give without expectation of receiving?

Perhaps that is why I do not align myself with any one religious organization or group. I prefer to keep my relationship direct and personal. I do my utmost, given my imperfections, to live my life in a way that magnifies the goodness of the Creator. That is my testimony.

Circle of Love

There is a circle of love in each person's life. That is the love of family, friends, and most importantly the love of the Creator. Sometimes life hands us setbacks and disappointment and sadness. But the circle of love is always there to keep light in our lives, no matter how dark the times may be. The world and its woes push in on us from time to time, seeking to obliterate all light. But there is a light within each of us...a spirit of illumination...more powerful than all the darkness the world may contain.

I found myself weeping yesterday when I saw the pictures of dead children who had been killed in a small Russian town. Their lives had been snuffed out in the name of political activism. What adults choose to do to each other is one thing, but the taking of innocent lives is inexcusable no matter what the cause. The world seems so full of violence and the ugly side of humanity. At times it is very hard to keep the light of love alive. But we must. As long as there is love, there is hope.

Some people think there is nothing we can do about the state of the world today. I would agree if it were left up only to humanity to stop the violence. But I know the Creator will not allow total darkness and its resulting hopelessness. We can do something about the state of the world today. But it requires faith in a higher creation and a willingness to wait on the spirit of goodness. In order for the spirit of goodness to thrive, each of us must do our utmost to let His light shine by the way we live our daily lives and the good we do for others. Such a little thing can result in great changes. Instead of thinking "What can one person do?", believe in the power of one multiplied by myriads. It will far outweigh the dark side of humanity.

Keep the Circle of Love ever present in your life and in your daily activities. Not just for those you love. That is the easy path. Love your enemies, too. No matter how fowl or wicked a person may seem, love that person as the Creator loves us. It will shrivel the cancer of wickedness and allow the light to shine in that person, too. Think of the love Christ showed to every human he encountered. Love without question or expectation. Love freely given. That is what will keep our circle of love intact and healthy.

Falling Leaves

Now that September has begun, I consider it the beginning of a new year. That is probably because I had been a teacher for so long, and a student before that. I see students walking past my house in the morning, on the way to school. The air seems crisp with expectation. It is my favorite time of the year.

I look back on this first year of my retirement and realize that it was a time of rest and regathering for me. I have found this to be both refreshing and introspective. It has provided time for me to assess my life. I have found it to be a good life. Teaching brought me great satisfaction and a feeling that I had done some good in the lives of others. I just sent out a letter to students who have graduated from high school and were students of mine. It is a kind of tradition I started in 1998 when the first graduates of the high school where I taught left to go on to careers and college. Each August I send a letter of encouragement, telling them to keep following their dreams, no matter how long it may take to attain them.

Now I start a new year for myself, too. I want it to be a year of new things. I want to pursue my love of writing and art. I realize I need to follow the advice I so freely give my daughter: set aside time each day which is solely devoted to that pursuit. Now my time of rest is over. It is time I pursue my dreams, too.

This is also a symbolic time of falling leaves. It is not the end of things, but rather the beginning of things. Leaves fall from the tree in order to make way for new growth to come. This is true for humans as well. There is no end. Only new beginnings. The Creator uses each of us, no matter how small it may seem, as part of His grand scheme of things. We often cannot see this for ourselves. That is where faith comes into the picture. Nothing of the Creator is negative. Even our sometimes seeming failures have a reason for being. If nothing else, failings keep us humble and pliable. We only need to be available to be of use to the Creator. Humans tend to be impatient. Remember a thousand years is but a day in the grand scheme of things.

Falling leaves do not mean the end of a cycle. There are no endings. Only beginnings. If we can keep that in mind, we will be more patient with ourselves and with others. Slow down. Let things happen. Believe good comes from everything. Most importantly, to God give the glory.

At this time in my life, I recognize the changes in my body. I rise more slowly in the morning, tire easily, seek sleep more often. But it is not a sad time for me. I realize that these changes afford me the opportunity to take time for myself, appreciate the little things I used to not notice because of a too-busy life style, and see my frailties as badge of my years. There is too much about my life that is good to prevent me from feeling sorry for myself. My only regret is what I could have done that I did not do for others.