New Born Elijah and Big Brother Connor 

One Life Gone...A New Life Created

As I said yesterday in my entry, there have been many changes. There is the loss of Bryan. There is also the birth of a new grandson, Elijah. Monica was six months pregnant when Bryan passed. Elijah was born in Houston, Texas on July 28th to Monica and her husband, Sam. Connor was there to meet his hours-old new baby brother. I took the picture of them in the hospital room. Elijah has brought much happiness to us all, but especially to Connor. He has always wanted a brother. They are very close and I do feel having Elijah in his life has made the pain of losing a father much less painful for Connor.

We all know children are a blessing but this is especially a blessing, not only to the parents but also to Connor. He is the perfect big brother. They play together and laugh together. Elijah is a gift from God, without a doubt. I know there are still painful issues within Connor, many of which Connor has yet to confront. That will happen in time as Connor grows older and more reflective. And as for me, well it goes without saying that having two grandchildren and being able to see them on a regular basis is the best of all blessings for me.

Changes in the Wind

It has been a long time since I made an entry to my running commentary. Since my last entry much has happened. My grandson, Connor, is now living permanently with his mom. He had been living with his dad until a year ago in March in Memphis. His dad, who had recently
turned 40, went out for a jog. When Connor wondered why he was late getting back from his run, he went outside to look for him. He found him lying on the front lawn and unresponsive. He went to a neighbor's house to call 911. Bryan never revived and was pronounced dead 30 minutes after arriving at the emergency room.

I had not seen Bryan for nearly ten years. Just three days before he died, while my husband and I were visiting in Houston with our daughter, I drove back to Memphis with Monica to return Connor to his dad following Connor's stay with Monica for spring break. Bryan came to the passenger side of our car, leaned in to hug me, and tightly squeezed my hand. He said nothing and smiled when I told him how happy I was to see him.

My point is that we must never think we will have one more chance to see someone we care about before they are gone from us forever. Time is too quirky to believe that. We must make every effort to talk to those we care about, visit with them in person if possible, and never allow negative experiences or an apparent rebuff to cause us to turn away from contact. I don't know if Bryan had some sort of premonition or if he was simply glad to see me again after all the years since he and Monica had divorced. I will never know. But I do know that the moment of connection with Bryan was very special and I am so grateful to have had it before his untimely death.